Ironing

Today I sustained an ironing-related injury. No, I didn't burn myself--this hurt is much less glamorous than that. As I was putting away the ironing board, the foot of the board smacked into the side of my face. I have a cheekbone that is red, swollen, and radiating heat.

At least I got all of the ironing done.

Hot Hair

Today I was sworn in as a lawyer in Albany, NY. In preparation for my big day, I washed and dried my hair last night. While rolling my hair around a round brush, the ends of my blonde locks, hot from the hair dryer, kept hitting my hand. It wasn't until this morning that I realized I had developed a blistering burn. My family laughed at the absurdity of this injury, but I'm angry. I considering suing myself for personal injuries.

Pain in my Leg

In the early morning hours of today, I was injured en route to Albany, New York.  There was no accident, just my sciatica flaring up.  I was injured just by sitting.  I'm 26 going on 80.

Crying My Eyes Out

I recently got a Clarisonic facial cleanser and have been searching for the perfect face soap to use with this new gadget.  Today I picked up a foaming face wash because the non-foaming versions just aren't as satisfying as the ones that produce bubbles.  In the midst of tonight's scrubbing, I opened my eyes to see just how bubbly my new soap had become.  The suds got in my eyes, leaving me yelping in pain.  My face is clean but my eyeball is bloodshot and swollen.

Paper Cut

Yesterday, while flipping through the mail, an especially nefarious cardboard flyer sliced open my finger. Paper cuts hurt, especially paper cuts from a Cage Aux Folles advertisement.

Blinded by the light

Yesterday my husband and I bought a new car--a 2011 Touareg! We were excited about our new purchase because so many great things come standard on the car. Navigation, 3 years of free maintenance, and Xenon lights. I decided to perform a "deer in headlights" human parody and bent down to headlight level as my husband and salesman started fiddling with the settings. Unfortunately the parody never came to fruition. As I stood 2 feet in front of the headlights, the salesman turned on the parking lights, fog lights, and the high beam Xenon headlights! With searing retinas I jumped back screaming and grabbing at my eyes. My husband and the salesman burst out laughing. Those Xenons sure are bright...

Sneezy and Burnt

1. Today I was plagued by sneezes that keep getting caught in my nose. While I am usually quite fond of sneezes--they felt so good--these sneezes were awful. The feeling of having to sneeze but not being able to is terrible, but these sneezes were even worse. This was the kind of sneeze that doesn't materialize and instead hurts the inside of your nose. It felt like a sharp pinch and burn.

2. Later in the day I made popcorn for my husband and myself to enjoy while watching Toy Story 3. In an attempt to separate the popped from the unpopped kernels, I picked up an unpopped kernel right out of the microwave bag. Ouch! I felt a blister growing under my skin a few minutes later. Why didn't I just wait for the kernel to cool?